Friday, October 26, 2012
Day Drinking and Other Worthy Pursuits
There will come a point, usually a few weeks in--or maybe months, if you've managed to distract yourself well enough--when you'll suddenly realize that all of this is your life. It's real. It's happening. Not for weeks, or months. But years. And you can't escape it.
Ever heard of the Five Stages of Grief? Well these are the Five Stages of Grenada:
1. Confusion. Shortly after arriving to the island, your senses will be water boarded by a host of strange new things. Sights, sounds, smells, and of course there's the godawful, sweat-drenching and soul-sucking heat. For possibly the first time in your life, you'll be feeling completely out of your element, far-removed from whatever comfort zone you usually call "home." I don't care if you're from the U.S. or Canada or India. Dorothy, you ain't in Kansas anymore.
2. Irritation. Once you start to understand the daily workings of your new socio-economic and geographic environment, you'll probably be pretty pissed. No, the garbage doesn't always get picked up when they say it will. No, the local market will not always have the basic things that every market you've ever shopped at seems to have (such as milk, eggs, marshmallows, etc.). And no, drivers will not brake for pedestrians when they're crossing the street.
3. Counting. Unlike the "bargaining" step of the grief process, you're a Grenadian housewife, and so you essentially have nothing to trade. Your power and autonomy is so limited, sometimes you'll feel like Blanche DuBois, constantly relying on the kindness of strangers. Or, in this case, the begrudging tolerance of strangers. Impotent and embittered, you'll simply lock yourself away and begin counting the days... trying to brainstorm ways to make them pass by more quickly. Drinking helps.
4. Fantasizing. Eventually, your conscious mind will stop occupying itself with thoughts of eventual escape. Instead, you'll begin to idealize everything around you. The fruit is the freshest in the world. The children are the cutest. The roving packs of stray dogs are hilarious, and the uninsulated shack you live in is simply charming and rustic. Like Russel Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, you might even start to hallucinate some awesome new friends. It's not wrong, just slightly worrisome in a psychological sense.
5. Acceptance / Extraction. We see it all the time. At the end of the road, there really are only two options. No matter how tough the circumstance or uncomfortable the choice, you have to accept the life you've been given. Or you can leave. We see a small handful of people every term, fleeing back to their homeland with their metaphorical tail tucked between their legs. I, for one, have a hard time rationalizing this kind of premature exodus. But I do understand it. And on some basic level, I am jealous. But not jealous enough to leave the most important person in my life alone in Grenada.
In case you were wondering, I'm currently living in Stage 3.
You're welcome.
Cordelia
Friday, October 19, 2012
The Language of Grenada is English(-ish)
People
will ask you what language they speak
here (the use of the term “they” and “those people” forevermore replacing the
more polite, yet also more stuffy, term “Grenadians”). After explaining your move to the West
Indies, you are somehow understood to be an expert in all matters Grenadian
and, instead of researching the country themselves, your friends and family nod
enthusiastically as you regurgitate your Internet findings, with the air of
someone who genuinely knows what they’re talking about: the primary language is
English, though some residents still use a patois. (Don’t forget to raise your eyebrows and draw
out the last syllable of patois to
really emphasize how charmingly foreign it all is.) Maybe you really wring out the benefits of
your research and add the little bit about a slight “lilting Caribbean accent”
on that spoken English.
When you
get to Grenada, you’re going to have a hard time understanding the immigration
officer, but you’ll get by. You’ll turn
red and get flustered because you don’t know if you’re answering his questions
properly, but can only ask him to repeat himself so many times before your
guilt forbids you from asking again and you just smile awkwardly. He is so used to that awkward smile and the
bewilderment, he’s not even fazed, though.
You’ll get through immigration relatively easily.
Next you’ll
come to customs and you’re going to have a harder time understanding the
customs officer, but she’s also accustomed to being misunderstood and after
repeating herself a handful of times, will just pantomime the rest of the
process. You, like a monkey eagerly
learning charades, will remove your laptop, read off the serial number, pretend
that you don’t own another electronic device, save that one computer, and pay
your duty.
By the
time you get out of the airport, you’re probably feeling pretty good. Sure, there’s that “lilting Caribbean accent,”
but you can navigate through it to isolate the familiar English language that
you’re used to. You maybe start to think
that you’ve got more sensitive hearing than others or an emerging ability to
understand English, even through the thickest accents.
You know
that sound when Pac-Man dies? That’s the
sound your ego’s going to make the first time you jump on a reggae bus and a
local attempts to engage you in conversation.
The immigration officer? The
customs officer? Even the locals employed
by the school? They all have an uncanny
ability of slowing their speech and adopting your accent to make you feel more
comfortable and them seem more comprehensible.
Unfortunately,
you are bound to run into someone who doesn’t have experience chatting with
foreigners and as soon as you realize you’re locked in a conversation with one
of them, you’re going to go full-out Blank Stare on them. At some point that conversation is going to
lead to a question and the very pregnant pause that follows will be filled with
little more than your soundless gaping.
If you’re lucky enough, you’ve got a friend standing next to you, with
whom you can exchange looks of panic. If
you’re not that lucky, you’re just going to end up answering out of obligation. And you’re going to answer incorrectly.
The
Caribbean accent renders the local English language virtually
unintelligible. If two Grenadians are
within earshot and carrying on a conversation that you are not meant to be a
part of, you will not understand more than the syncopated rhythm of their words
and the almost lyrical pattern of their sentences. Beyond this, you will know nothing.
You may
have heard that these people like to
use words like de, ting, dis, tirsty,
in place of words like the, thing, this,
thirsty. You may be able to
reassemble words that are phonetically distinguishable as English-ish, like, hoos-waf is housewife and aim g’wan
is I am going. But once you string a whole mouthful of these
words together, you will swear, up and down, that it is no form of English you’ve
ever come across.
The
issues with translation (because that’s what all of this comes down to) is the
lack of time necessary to dissect everything said until you’re sure you know
what’s being asked of you. Confusion and
misunderstanding can lead to uncomfortable situations. The guy that just screamed, “Welcome to
fucking paradise!” may have actually just yelled to a friend, “We’ll come if
the party is nice!” or, if his accent was particularly thick and you’re
particularly paranoid, perhaps he just called out, “Where’s de kitty?” Maybe.
You never know. And that’s the
moral of the story.
Buffy
Monday, October 15, 2012
Another Word on Expectations
I read somewhere once that "Expectations are the On-ramp to the Freeway of Resentment." Even then, it sounded like total BS. But bear with me for a sec.
Let's say that before you came to Grenada, you thought you'd have all this time to do things you never had time to do before.
For instance. Supposing you really wanted to get in shape before moving back to the Mainland. "It's gonna be so great," you said to yourself. "A couple months from now, I'll be looking like Maria What's-Her-Face from Victoria's Secret! And my [student] will be looking like [insert svelte Hollywood A-List Actor here]. We will be like the sexy, well-oiled power couple in that Bowflex commercial!"
But then you get here. And you realize, "Wait a minute, my [student] can't even get to the beach once a week, let alone the gym. And while you're at it, it's FIFTEEN-BILLION DEGREES outside (which means it's still fourteen-billion degrees INSIDE, even with several fans and gold-level AC) and you can barely bring yourself to pick up a dish between 1:00-7:00pm, let alone work out.
***By the way, as I write this, I'm pretty sure--yes, definitely sure--a bug just flew into my eye.***
So now you're in the metaphorical car, past the on-ramp and well on your way to the Freeway of Resentment. Heading toward Obiesityville, with a possible pit stop in Depression City. Maybe you should've lowered your expectations, you think. At least then, the five pounds you sweated off in the first two weeks would've seemed like a bigger deal.
You're welcome.
Let's say that before you came to Grenada, you thought you'd have all this time to do things you never had time to do before.
For instance. Supposing you really wanted to get in shape before moving back to the Mainland. "It's gonna be so great," you said to yourself. "A couple months from now, I'll be looking like Maria What's-Her-Face from Victoria's Secret! And my [student] will be looking like [insert svelte Hollywood A-List Actor here]. We will be like the sexy, well-oiled power couple in that Bowflex commercial!"
But then you get here. And you realize, "Wait a minute, my [student] can't even get to the beach once a week, let alone the gym. And while you're at it, it's FIFTEEN-BILLION DEGREES outside (which means it's still fourteen-billion degrees INSIDE, even with several fans and gold-level AC) and you can barely bring yourself to pick up a dish between 1:00-7:00pm, let alone work out.
***By the way, as I write this, I'm pretty sure--yes, definitely sure--a bug just flew into my eye.***
So now you're in the metaphorical car, past the on-ramp and well on your way to the Freeway of Resentment. Heading toward Obiesityville, with a possible pit stop in Depression City. Maybe you should've lowered your expectations, you think. At least then, the five pounds you sweated off in the first two weeks would've seemed like a bigger deal.
You're welcome.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Grenada: Unequalled Glory
The thing
about Grenada is, it’s this whole other country. Like, when you tell people, “I’m moving to
the Caribbean so [student] can go to medical school!” and your voice is all
high-pitched, borderline squeaky with that annoying upward inflection at the
end, you don’t have the slightest inclination of how uninformed you are because
you are just so super-dooper excited about the
Caribbean. Stop. Back it up.
The
first thing you need to do is remove yourself from that dreamy fantasy you’ve
caught yourself in. You know the one: the
unimaginably calm and clear waters of the Caribbean Sea stretch endlessly,
interrupted only by the undulating reflection of an otherworldly sunset
displaying colors you’ve never seen before, and there, on the shore, embraced
by pillowy mounds of sugar white sand, framed in by perfect silhouettes of palm
trees and dainty tropical ferns, beneath the sun bleached spread of a straw
beach umbrella, you stand, perhaps bikini clad, wrapped in a hibiscus-print
sarong, your hair tossed by an island breeze.
All of it, in its practically orgasmic perfection and unequalled glory—leave
it. Because here’s the thing, that beach
that you’re desperately projecting exists only in Sandals commercials. I guess if you want it bad enough and you get
drunk enough, you can probably convince yourself any beach is that fantasy
beach.
I’m not
saying there aren’t a few pretty spectacular beaches here, but if you arrive
expecting every aspect of the island to compare to the splendor of the beaches,
you’re going to be one pissed off housewife (or, whatever, housewife just
seemed to fit the context).
So stop
telling yourself (and everyone else) that you’re moving to the Caribbean. Tourists go to the Caribbean. You’re going to a preposterously tiny spec of
volcanic earth that miraculously happens to be an island-country, where the
unemployment and poverty levels are what you’d expect from a third-world
country, but will still depress you on a daily basis. You’re not going to stay in a $500-a-night
all-inclusive resort on Grand Anse beach; you’re going to live in a shitty
little apartment where your husband’s eyeballs are going to fall out three days
before midterms and you’re going to land yourself at the SGU clinic after
eating a mouthful of raw calalloo. You’re
not going to skip through a mango grove singing The Sound of Music whilst
happily plucking fresh fruits; you’re going to sweat through ever nice linen
you brought, be harassed by half-naked men wielding machetes and bags of hot
fruit, and stomp in piles of cow crap on the sidewalk. You’re going to Grenada.
Now that
you understand what a few of the cobwebs look like, you’re really going to love
those beaches. Nothing takes your mind
off of foot-long stinging centipedes and flying cockroaches like pristine
waters and silky sand. That sand’s going
to have to be extra silky, though, to help you forget the man with thigh length
dreadlocks peeing in the ditch or the wispy woman with hairy legs dropping a
load in that same ditch.
But,
like I said before, you can always just drink until the beaches reach that
orgasmic perfection and all the cobwebs disappear in ripples of unequalled
glory.
Buffy
Friday, October 12, 2012
Blasphemy in Paradise
"One moment you're 'in,' and the next...you're 'out'." (Ain't it the damn truth, though?)
I'll be the first one to tell you that I put my foot in my mouth. Often. Though I like to think I've never been one of those girls who intentionally causes verbal harm, there's a whole lot of room for interpretation when it comes to the words "intentional" and "harm."
In high school, most of us learned this lesson the hard way. Whether it was a careless comment at just the wrong moment or a heartless observation overheard by the wrong person, we've all wished we could take back something we said. Unfortunately, words flung in the heat of the moment--much like the proverbial chicken feathers in that classic story--are impossible to get back.
So at this point, let me just say that I'm new here. I'm still learning. And if there's one thing I've picked up on, it's the fact that this island is freaking SMALL. There really are no secrets here.
So be careful what you say, repeat, or write. Especially if you're venting about something that could just be a harmless misunderstanding.
You're welcome.
I'll be the first one to tell you that I put my foot in my mouth. Often. Though I like to think I've never been one of those girls who intentionally causes verbal harm, there's a whole lot of room for interpretation when it comes to the words "intentional" and "harm."
In high school, most of us learned this lesson the hard way. Whether it was a careless comment at just the wrong moment or a heartless observation overheard by the wrong person, we've all wished we could take back something we said. Unfortunately, words flung in the heat of the moment--much like the proverbial chicken feathers in that classic story--are impossible to get back.
So at this point, let me just say that I'm new here. I'm still learning. And if there's one thing I've picked up on, it's the fact that this island is freaking SMALL. There really are no secrets here.
So be careful what you say, repeat, or write. Especially if you're venting about something that could just be a harmless misunderstanding.
You're welcome.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Nobody Tells You These Things
How many
times have I discovered something new about this island—and not just new, but
also shocking—and responded with wide-eyed dismay, hands open like I’m going to
strangle someone and asked, “How do I not
know this?”
What’s
with the secrets? It’s as if my
predecessors felt that keeping the mysteries of the island prolonged its exotic
allure. That’s all well and good for the
Sooki Stackhouse smut we all secretly love, but a little taste of that
inner-circle knowledge may have led me to more well-informed decisions. Or maybe my predecessors played Secret
Keepers to hide the biggest secret of all.
Grenada: it’s not actually paradise.
Did you
know that there are four strains of dengue fever and the prolific mosquitoes of
Grenada are carriers of all four? Did
you know that dengue fever is also referred to as break-bone fever? Should I stop with the rhetorical questions
and just state my points with a little less drippy sarcasm? Of the four strains, one in
particular—hemorrhagic dengue fever—is lethal.
It is rare to contract hemorrhagic fever the first time, but common the
second time. So the first time you get
dengue, you feel like your bones are breaking.
The second time, you maybe die in a third world hospital. Maybe.
Or maybe
you never contract dengue and just spend your days seaside with your
French-tipped toes buried in the finest white sand you’ll ever see, sucking on
a cherry skewered on the stick of a gaudy umbrella from your frosty Pina
Colada.
Homosexuality
is illegal in Grenada. The semantics of
that law, however, get a little fuzzy where money is concerned. Gay cruises, for instance, make port at St.
George, spilling forth their lawless contents onto the markets of the
capitol. Far from shunning, persecuting,
prosecuting or banning these visitors, the people of Grenada expand their arms,
displaying acceptance and shelves of merchandise. Where judgment and hatred is learned,
tolerance is apparently purchased.
I might
consider the small island-country prude; more accurately, I think, it’s
sexually awkward. Homosexuality is
illegal because, why? it’s taboo; Christianity says so; because it’s always
been that way (sort of like the flat world that is central to the solar system,
right?). Other things are illegal
too. And I’m not talking about gender
roles or sexual orientations; I’m actually referring to things. I think “marital
aid” is the PC term here, though definition and uses may vary widely.
Whatever
the term/definition/use, they are illegal.
No one ever tells you these things and, before you know it, you’re that
person at the front of the unimaginably long customs line who just had her bag
randomly searched and is now standing (or crumpling), mortified, as the customs
officer flourishes your contraband in front of everyone. That’s a moment
you probably want to avoid. So here’s
your warning: don’t bring it.
Of
course, you can always take your chances.
I’m not condoning breaking the law by knowingly bringing illegal items
to Grenada. Not really. But, I mean, if
you have to… Hide it. Take it apart and
pretend it’s a tube of lipstick. Take
the batteries out of your flashlight and hide it in there. Stuff it inside a box of latex exam gloves. Get creative.
Chances are no one’s going to search your bag that thoroughly.
If
you’re really scared about it being found by officers, just don’t bring
it. If you’re lucky enough, you might
find one here. Stranger things have been
sold on the “post.” You may run across a
“gently used” aid for sale with a half-tube of Astro-glide. Maybe.
Or maybe
you’ll go for a run one day and pass the infamous homeless gent with pink Crocs
who likes to masturbate in the middle of the road while leering at the sweaty
jogging housewives of medical students and decide you’re not going to be in the
mood for that aid again until you’re off this island.
Maybe.
Buffy
First and Foremost... THINGS.
When I first learned that I’d be living on this small, lesser-known Caribbean island for two years, I did a lot of research. At first, it was just exciting to see so many beautiful pictures of breathtaking sunsets and postcard-like beaches… But then, I got serious. And, to my dismay, I found that there was very little to go on in the way of actual, useful everyday information. At least for someone like me.
***Disclaimers:
- If you’ve reached this post via google search and have never visited this site before, please excuse the occasional language. This is my personal, unedited view of the world complete with salty verbage. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay.
- This list is not sanctioned by the government of Grenada, any airline, or any type of recognized authority. My observations and suggestions are based on personal experience, and should not be considered a blanket rule in any case.
- This list is not all-inclusive, being written only a week after my initial arrival as a temporary resident. However, I shall do my best to diligently update the list with any new or helpful information I stumble across. - I absolve myself of any and all liability if by reading any of the following, you as the reader are led to be arrested, run over by a bus, poisoned, lost in the wilderness, robbed, fall down a hillside after drinking too much rum or Carib, or are eaten by a shark. There, I think that covers pretty much everything.
- Oh wait, one more thing. All jokes or snarky comments made about the culture of Grenada, its government, travel organizations, or plant and animal life are meant in the spirit of educational satire and are not meant to be taken seriously. Basically, I would appreciate it if you did not send me angry e-mails or mean comments based on the content of this posting. Angry e-mails and/or mean comments based on the content of all my other postings are to be expected. Enjoy.
Now, on with the ACTUAL list!
I. Lots of “other” blogs I found talked about how easy and accessible everything is here. And I guess, for someone who was expecting a dirt-streeted third-world country sort of setup before they came, it might seem that way. Not that I’m saying Grenada isn’t well-equipped with most modern luxuries. You really can find most necessary items. And if you can’t find them, they probably aren’t necessary.
However, there were some things I really, REALLY wish I’d brought from home. Such as:
1. Bed sheets / pillowcases (blankets are largely unnecessary here): Even though the Caribbean is generally known as a great place to buy cheap linens–tablecloths, napkins, communion gowns, etc.–because compared to the U.S. linens are up to 300% less expensive with the duty-free discount, that discount only applies to TOURISTS.
Not to mention that here in Grenada, 200 thread count is pretty much as luxurious as it gets. So. If you’re moving here from the US for an extended period of time, do yourself a favor and pop down to Wal-Mart, grab a set or two of those $20 Jersey-knit sheets (because they won’t pill, they’ll dry fast on the line and keep you cool at night). The extra weight in your luggage will be worth it, especially after you visit the local “Linens n Tings” and see that a basic set of 200 tc will set you back about $170 EC.
2. OFF. Or Ben’s, or Deet, or whatever you can get your hands on. Yes, they sell it here. (And at a much stronger level of Deet than back home, btw.) But bring a travel-sized bottle with you on the plane. If mosquitos just love to taste you, maybe consider swapping out bug repellant for your usual body spray. (Speaking of which, you might as well leave the Bath & Body stuff at home. No sense making your tasty American skin smell any sweeter than it already does. To the bugs. Don’t be gross.)
3. Tupperware. I know this probably goes without saying, but there are ants. Most houses aren’t very well sealed down here, so the ants get in. To combat this problem and keep your house or apartment from being overrun, you can either keep EVERYTHING in the fridge, or buy some really expensive Glad containers at the IGA. Obviously, you won’t want to fill up your suitcase with them from back home, but if they happen to have a nice big set for under $10 back home and you’ve got the space…why not?
4. Sunblock. Again, I feel I should probably bring up the fact that most of the things on my “wish I’d brought it” list CAN be bought here. But they’re either a lot more expensive or in limited supply, and as my husband will tell you I am SUPER cheap when it comes to spending a lot on things that aren’t Diet Coke or shoes.
Here are some things I DID bring, and I’m glad I did:
5. Cooling pad for my laptop. It’s this neat-o little wedge-shaped contraption with a built in fan. I bought it for about $14 at Wal-mart, and while it probably won’t prevent my gigantic HP laptop from eventually exploding (either from the incessant heat or the SUPER fun new problem I’ve discovered–keyboard ant infestation) it does help to keep it cooler than it would be otherwise.
6. Headbands. I had the amazing foresight to buy like 10 of those skinny little rubber headbands that tennis players wear to keep the flyaways down and sweat away from the face…do you know the ones I mean? They’re great. I love them. Also, I have recently realized that I probably won’t ever be wearing my hair down during the next two years, so a copious amount of hair ties was also a must.
There are also some things I should NOT have bothered bringing. Like:
7. Makeup. Yeah, that was a real surprise for someone who’d worked many long hours in the Caribbean but had never lived here. I used to wear eyeliner, mascara…and yeah it was sometimes pretty smudgy by the end of the day. But I spent enough time in air-conditioned places that my eye makeup and hairstyle didn’t suffer too much damage.
But in Grenada, during the “hotter” season? Fughettaboutit. Mascara? Try tiger stripes on your upper eyelids. Liner? It don’t mattah if you’re using powder, pencil or liquid. It WILL end up making sweat tracks down your face. Plus–and I’m not trying to scare anyone here–it’s not like you really want to attract more attention to the fact that you’re a girl. People will already notice, even if you’re swathed in sweatpants, hair tucked under a baseball cap. (Don’t do this in the “hotter” season, by the way, or you’ll probably die.)
And you won’t be competing with anyone for makeup style, either, since 98% of the girls here are either locals or students who don’t have the time or the inclination to reapply those gooey, sticky substances to their faces every 5 minutes.
8. Heels. If you don’t know me personally, this might not shock you at all. But for those of you who do, it’s horrifying. I was good and brought exactly ONE pair of heels with me to Grenada (for special occasions only). Even then, whenever I step out of the house in them, I feel like I’ve strapped a giant, Hollywood premier-style spotlight onto my back. It’s like “Hey everyone, look at me! I have absolutely NO idea how people dress around here. And/or I am trying to make a poncy impression!”
Other than my dance shoes, I could’ve just as easily done without heels altogether. Flip flops, leather sandals, even fancy ankle strap ones if you want, but sandals all the same. That’s what most people wear, if they’re not wearing sneakers/running shoes/sweet pumped up teenage kicks.
9. Hair dryer. Technically, you could use one, I guess. But it’s going to take forever and the difference will be slight. If your hair has a tendency to go flat, frizzy, or half-curly half-wavy and insane in the humidity (like mine), it’s going to do that no matter how you style it. So just go with it, man. Stock up on leave-in conditioner, pomade and those nifty little tennis-player headbands, and let those flyaways fly.
10. Jeans/Long pants. I brought about 5 pairs of shorts (all knee-length or a few inches above, because again I don’t love getting stared at constantly) and I wear them pretty much every day. The same goes for my floor-length cotton maxi skirt from H&M. LOVE that. Wish I’d bought six more. Jeans, though, unless they’re crops or super loose…don’t really see the point. Maybe if you have a special occasion to go to during the “less hot” season, or if you just really love jeans. Otherwise… meh.
II. How to Shop for Groceries in Grenada.
11. At first, you’ll want to take it slowly and ease yourself into the culture. This is totally understandable. So you’ll probably buy most of your setup stuff at the IGA in Spiceland Mall. It looks pretty much exactly like a US grocery store, only everything is priced in EC. (The current exchange rate is about 2.7 EC per USD–I like to do the math in my head by dividing the price by 2, while my husband divides by 3 because he’s more of an optomist than I am. Which is also why I’m the one in charge of the budget.) The IGA is a tad expensive–like pretty much everywhere–but it’s a great place to shop if you want to buy fresh, local bread for about $2 US, and they also have the biggest selection of produce (but they run out early in the am, so get there quick–especially if you ever want to buy EGGS or lettuce) and frozen foods. Again, these are more expensive, but it’s tailored to people who want a more US-like experience.
At the IGA, you’ll find most brands that you recognize, but I always try to buy generic or off-brand as much as possible. Example: the difference between a can of Starfish Tuna and the local stuff is about $3 EC. That kind of thing adds up. Also, if you’ve got kids (or if you’re like me and you have a lifelong dedication to Diet Coke and the gourmet tastes of a 5-year-old) you might want to know that a six pack of soda at IGA costs about $6 US, and a box of Kraft Mac N Cheese is about $3 US. (If you’re really adventurous, you can DIY and buy a big bag of macaroni noodles for around $1.50 US and a box of Velveeta or similar brand of fake orange cheese. Presto!)
12. After you’ve settled in (or if you have the aforementioned Diet Coke addiction…not that it’s a problem, cause like me you can probably quit whenever you…nevermind), you might want to discover a local gem called CK. It’s kind of like a miniature Costco, where you can–but don’t have to–buy almost anything in bulk. The best things to get here, IMO, are drinks (soda, juice, beer, water bottles in big boxes, etc.) cereal–if you MUST, bc boxed cereal is ceriously expensive (ba-da-bing!) no matter where you go–US delicacies like Oreos (again, very expensive but if you must, you must), and cleaning supplies/detergent, etc. All or most of these items will be cheaper here than at the IGA, and they’ll be even cheaper if you buy them in packs or cases. But here’s the fun part: these items don’t actually COME in the cases, like at Costco. If you want to buy a 24-pack of soda, you’ll have to take four 6-packs and make one yourself. This makes carrying things out of the CK a bit of a challenge. Which is why if you do decide to shop here, you will probably have to hire a taxi. (Because the SGU bus won’t let you get on with anything more than you can carry. They also won’t let you get on if you’re visibly wet or have open food containers, like from KFC or something. For more on the bus situation, see section V.)
III. A Word on Local Foods.
13. Most people probably think coming here will mean that they’ll have to drastically change their diet. Or start one. Though I won’t lie, the extreme heat and overall inconvenience (or non-existence) of fatty snack items and fast food does help quite a bit, you can still nosh on your favorite guilty pleasures once in a while if you’ve got the inclination and the funds. Things like double-stuffed chocolate cream Oreos are still available here, for a price, as well as most popular beer brands (Heineken, Guiness, Corona, etc.).
14. When it comes to dining out, there is exactly ONE fast food chain: KFC–and no, Jazzy, I am not touching that one.
15. There are, however, a whole bunch of local, family owned places that specialize in everything from thin-crust pizza and pasta (The Boulangerie–I did NOT spell that correctly), Sushi (right next to that place I just didn’t spell correctly, across from Spiceland Mall), Hamburgers, Chinese food–use your discretion on this one, though, as there’s a disturbing yet hilarious rumor circulating about the whereabouts of some of the area’s stray animals–and of course, local fish and whatnot.
The best local place I’ve ever eaten at is in Caranege (near the Esplanade Mall), and it’s called BB’s Crabback. But it is EXPENSIVE, despite being a little family-owned hole in the wall. So maybe take your family there when they visit.
16. During national holidays (like Carnival) or in certain parts of town, you might see the occasional food stand selling grilled corn on the cob or various smoked meats. Again, use your discretion, but I’ve personally never been brave enough. After you’ve worked in a hospital, you gain a pretty decent respect for the power of germs.
17. Also, on that note, it’s supposedly considered rude to offer someone you just met a home cooked meal or a treat that you’ve made in your own home. I read that somewhere. Not sure if it’s true, but since no one has at any point offered me a home-cooked treat since I came, it might be. Works for me, though, because I’m not really the “bring cookies to the neighbors” type.
IV. Traveling Into Grenada
18. Island Airlines, yes even good ol American A, will almost definitely lose at least one of your checked bags (more than one if you check extra bags, i.e. more than two). So pack a couple changes of clothes and ANYTHING valuable you’re bringing with you in your carry-on luggage.
19. Also, another FUN FACT I wish someone had shared with me? Most Caribbean airlines (i.e. Liat) have a weight limit of 15 lbs on your carry-on luggage. Yep, you heard me. A lot of people on my flight had to gate check their laptops, purses etc. because they were too heavy. Luckily for me, my laptop case was just under weight and my roll-on carry bag didn’t have anything really valuable in it. (Cause I’m pretty sure that got its fair share of searching.)
20. For SGU significant others: Even if the school says you don’t “really” need it (and no offense to the school, but half the time when you ask someone in “information,” they give you a totally wrong answer, or at least one 100% different from the last person you asked) BRING YOUR PROOF OF DEPARTURE. (i.e. proof that you as a non-student are not planning on staying in Grenada forever.) Even if you have to make one up. (Legal disclaimer: I am NOT suggesting you defraud the government of Grenada or any other Caribbean island, or the US. etc. etc.) You might not get asked, but as I always say, “it’s better to HAVE it and not need it, than NEED it and not have it.”
***Additional note: Please see Buffy's post on (ahem) prohibited items of the "marital" variety.
V. On-Island Transportation
There are three major ways to get around in St. Georges:
21. Walking. Just like any other place in the world, they have sidewalks here. If you’re a girl and you’re alone, don’t walk places by yourself. It’s not a big deal, and I haven’t heard of any problems. But it’s common sense. Depending on where you live, there will most-likely be a few little restaurants, shopping places or gas stations around. We even have a movie theater that shows new-ish movies. I haven’t been, because I have Netflix (and zero desire to see the latest Ice Age: Should’ve Been Extinct by Now movie). But I’ve heard it’s nice enough.
22. SGU buses. One thing that’s AMAZINGLY nice about SGU as a school is that they offer these totally convenient, free shuttles that go all over town. There’s one that goes to the beach, one that goes to Spiceland Mall, one that goes to pretty much every student housing area–check on this before you sign a contract, though–one goes to the airport, and all of them go to the school. Technically, you have to have a student ID to ride, (you can get a special SO pass through security if your spouse/partner is a student) but I’ve never been asked. My landlord said it’s probably because I’m pale, and they just naturally assume I’m a student. Works for me.
23. Taxis / Local “buses” which are basically also taxis. If you’re walking down the street and someone honks at you, there’s a 90% chance it’s a taxi/local bus letting you know that they’re coming and you need to wave your hand and they’ll stop.
Sometimes, they’ll stop even if you don’t wave your hand. Most of the time, there will also be some dude hanging halfway out the van door (yes, the buses are vans, as creepy as it sounds) and yelling “bus!” or “taxi!” As they get closer, they might even try to convince you to get on the bus. It’s not free, but I’ve heard it costs less than a traditional taxi van. Though I’ll probably never know, because I’m not brave enough to climb into one of those things by myself. Plus, the SGU buses will take me pretty much anywhere I need to go.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I’ve learned about Grenada so far. Stay tuned for updates on the ongoing ant infestation and my upcoming foray into the super secret (and I’m convinced, real) underground fight club of lonely American SGU Housewives. (Note: If it’s not real, I’ll be starting one soon.)
You're welcome.
***Disclaimers:
- If you’ve reached this post via google search and have never visited this site before, please excuse the occasional language. This is my personal, unedited view of the world complete with salty verbage. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay.
- This list is not sanctioned by the government of Grenada, any airline, or any type of recognized authority. My observations and suggestions are based on personal experience, and should not be considered a blanket rule in any case.
- This list is not all-inclusive, being written only a week after my initial arrival as a temporary resident. However, I shall do my best to diligently update the list with any new or helpful information I stumble across. - I absolve myself of any and all liability if by reading any of the following, you as the reader are led to be arrested, run over by a bus, poisoned, lost in the wilderness, robbed, fall down a hillside after drinking too much rum or Carib, or are eaten by a shark. There, I think that covers pretty much everything.
- Oh wait, one more thing. All jokes or snarky comments made about the culture of Grenada, its government, travel organizations, or plant and animal life are meant in the spirit of educational satire and are not meant to be taken seriously. Basically, I would appreciate it if you did not send me angry e-mails or mean comments based on the content of this posting. Angry e-mails and/or mean comments based on the content of all my other postings are to be expected. Enjoy.
Now, on with the ACTUAL list!
THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN BEFORE MOVING TO GRENADA:
However, there were some things I really, REALLY wish I’d brought from home. Such as:
1. Bed sheets / pillowcases (blankets are largely unnecessary here): Even though the Caribbean is generally known as a great place to buy cheap linens–tablecloths, napkins, communion gowns, etc.–because compared to the U.S. linens are up to 300% less expensive with the duty-free discount, that discount only applies to TOURISTS.
Not to mention that here in Grenada, 200 thread count is pretty much as luxurious as it gets. So. If you’re moving here from the US for an extended period of time, do yourself a favor and pop down to Wal-Mart, grab a set or two of those $20 Jersey-knit sheets (because they won’t pill, they’ll dry fast on the line and keep you cool at night). The extra weight in your luggage will be worth it, especially after you visit the local “Linens n Tings” and see that a basic set of 200 tc will set you back about $170 EC.
2. OFF. Or Ben’s, or Deet, or whatever you can get your hands on. Yes, they sell it here. (And at a much stronger level of Deet than back home, btw.) But bring a travel-sized bottle with you on the plane. If mosquitos just love to taste you, maybe consider swapping out bug repellant for your usual body spray. (Speaking of which, you might as well leave the Bath & Body stuff at home. No sense making your tasty American skin smell any sweeter than it already does. To the bugs. Don’t be gross.)
3. Tupperware. I know this probably goes without saying, but there are ants. Most houses aren’t very well sealed down here, so the ants get in. To combat this problem and keep your house or apartment from being overrun, you can either keep EVERYTHING in the fridge, or buy some really expensive Glad containers at the IGA. Obviously, you won’t want to fill up your suitcase with them from back home, but if they happen to have a nice big set for under $10 back home and you’ve got the space…why not?
4. Sunblock. Again, I feel I should probably bring up the fact that most of the things on my “wish I’d brought it” list CAN be bought here. But they’re either a lot more expensive or in limited supply, and as my husband will tell you I am SUPER cheap when it comes to spending a lot on things that aren’t Diet Coke or shoes.
Here are some things I DID bring, and I’m glad I did:
5. Cooling pad for my laptop. It’s this neat-o little wedge-shaped contraption with a built in fan. I bought it for about $14 at Wal-mart, and while it probably won’t prevent my gigantic HP laptop from eventually exploding (either from the incessant heat or the SUPER fun new problem I’ve discovered–keyboard ant infestation) it does help to keep it cooler than it would be otherwise.
6. Headbands. I had the amazing foresight to buy like 10 of those skinny little rubber headbands that tennis players wear to keep the flyaways down and sweat away from the face…do you know the ones I mean? They’re great. I love them. Also, I have recently realized that I probably won’t ever be wearing my hair down during the next two years, so a copious amount of hair ties was also a must.
There are also some things I should NOT have bothered bringing. Like:
7. Makeup. Yeah, that was a real surprise for someone who’d worked many long hours in the Caribbean but had never lived here. I used to wear eyeliner, mascara…and yeah it was sometimes pretty smudgy by the end of the day. But I spent enough time in air-conditioned places that my eye makeup and hairstyle didn’t suffer too much damage.
But in Grenada, during the “hotter” season? Fughettaboutit. Mascara? Try tiger stripes on your upper eyelids. Liner? It don’t mattah if you’re using powder, pencil or liquid. It WILL end up making sweat tracks down your face. Plus–and I’m not trying to scare anyone here–it’s not like you really want to attract more attention to the fact that you’re a girl. People will already notice, even if you’re swathed in sweatpants, hair tucked under a baseball cap. (Don’t do this in the “hotter” season, by the way, or you’ll probably die.)
And you won’t be competing with anyone for makeup style, either, since 98% of the girls here are either locals or students who don’t have the time or the inclination to reapply those gooey, sticky substances to their faces every 5 minutes.
8. Heels. If you don’t know me personally, this might not shock you at all. But for those of you who do, it’s horrifying. I was good and brought exactly ONE pair of heels with me to Grenada (for special occasions only). Even then, whenever I step out of the house in them, I feel like I’ve strapped a giant, Hollywood premier-style spotlight onto my back. It’s like “Hey everyone, look at me! I have absolutely NO idea how people dress around here. And/or I am trying to make a poncy impression!”
Other than my dance shoes, I could’ve just as easily done without heels altogether. Flip flops, leather sandals, even fancy ankle strap ones if you want, but sandals all the same. That’s what most people wear, if they’re not wearing sneakers/running shoes/sweet pumped up teenage kicks.
9. Hair dryer. Technically, you could use one, I guess. But it’s going to take forever and the difference will be slight. If your hair has a tendency to go flat, frizzy, or half-curly half-wavy and insane in the humidity (like mine), it’s going to do that no matter how you style it. So just go with it, man. Stock up on leave-in conditioner, pomade and those nifty little tennis-player headbands, and let those flyaways fly.
10. Jeans/Long pants. I brought about 5 pairs of shorts (all knee-length or a few inches above, because again I don’t love getting stared at constantly) and I wear them pretty much every day. The same goes for my floor-length cotton maxi skirt from H&M. LOVE that. Wish I’d bought six more. Jeans, though, unless they’re crops or super loose…don’t really see the point. Maybe if you have a special occasion to go to during the “less hot” season, or if you just really love jeans. Otherwise… meh.
II. How to Shop for Groceries in Grenada.
11. At first, you’ll want to take it slowly and ease yourself into the culture. This is totally understandable. So you’ll probably buy most of your setup stuff at the IGA in Spiceland Mall. It looks pretty much exactly like a US grocery store, only everything is priced in EC. (The current exchange rate is about 2.7 EC per USD–I like to do the math in my head by dividing the price by 2, while my husband divides by 3 because he’s more of an optomist than I am. Which is also why I’m the one in charge of the budget.) The IGA is a tad expensive–like pretty much everywhere–but it’s a great place to shop if you want to buy fresh, local bread for about $2 US, and they also have the biggest selection of produce (but they run out early in the am, so get there quick–especially if you ever want to buy EGGS or lettuce) and frozen foods. Again, these are more expensive, but it’s tailored to people who want a more US-like experience.
At the IGA, you’ll find most brands that you recognize, but I always try to buy generic or off-brand as much as possible. Example: the difference between a can of Starfish Tuna and the local stuff is about $3 EC. That kind of thing adds up. Also, if you’ve got kids (or if you’re like me and you have a lifelong dedication to Diet Coke and the gourmet tastes of a 5-year-old) you might want to know that a six pack of soda at IGA costs about $6 US, and a box of Kraft Mac N Cheese is about $3 US. (If you’re really adventurous, you can DIY and buy a big bag of macaroni noodles for around $1.50 US and a box of Velveeta or similar brand of fake orange cheese. Presto!)
12. After you’ve settled in (or if you have the aforementioned Diet Coke addiction…not that it’s a problem, cause like me you can probably quit whenever you…nevermind), you might want to discover a local gem called CK. It’s kind of like a miniature Costco, where you can–but don’t have to–buy almost anything in bulk. The best things to get here, IMO, are drinks (soda, juice, beer, water bottles in big boxes, etc.) cereal–if you MUST, bc boxed cereal is ceriously expensive (ba-da-bing!) no matter where you go–US delicacies like Oreos (again, very expensive but if you must, you must), and cleaning supplies/detergent, etc. All or most of these items will be cheaper here than at the IGA, and they’ll be even cheaper if you buy them in packs or cases. But here’s the fun part: these items don’t actually COME in the cases, like at Costco. If you want to buy a 24-pack of soda, you’ll have to take four 6-packs and make one yourself. This makes carrying things out of the CK a bit of a challenge. Which is why if you do decide to shop here, you will probably have to hire a taxi. (Because the SGU bus won’t let you get on with anything more than you can carry. They also won’t let you get on if you’re visibly wet or have open food containers, like from KFC or something. For more on the bus situation, see section V.)
III. A Word on Local Foods.
13. Most people probably think coming here will mean that they’ll have to drastically change their diet. Or start one. Though I won’t lie, the extreme heat and overall inconvenience (or non-existence) of fatty snack items and fast food does help quite a bit, you can still nosh on your favorite guilty pleasures once in a while if you’ve got the inclination and the funds. Things like double-stuffed chocolate cream Oreos are still available here, for a price, as well as most popular beer brands (Heineken, Guiness, Corona, etc.).
14. When it comes to dining out, there is exactly ONE fast food chain: KFC–and no, Jazzy, I am not touching that one.
15. There are, however, a whole bunch of local, family owned places that specialize in everything from thin-crust pizza and pasta (The Boulangerie–I did NOT spell that correctly), Sushi (right next to that place I just didn’t spell correctly, across from Spiceland Mall), Hamburgers, Chinese food–use your discretion on this one, though, as there’s a disturbing yet hilarious rumor circulating about the whereabouts of some of the area’s stray animals–and of course, local fish and whatnot.
The best local place I’ve ever eaten at is in Caranege (near the Esplanade Mall), and it’s called BB’s Crabback. But it is EXPENSIVE, despite being a little family-owned hole in the wall. So maybe take your family there when they visit.
16. During national holidays (like Carnival) or in certain parts of town, you might see the occasional food stand selling grilled corn on the cob or various smoked meats. Again, use your discretion, but I’ve personally never been brave enough. After you’ve worked in a hospital, you gain a pretty decent respect for the power of germs.
17. Also, on that note, it’s supposedly considered rude to offer someone you just met a home cooked meal or a treat that you’ve made in your own home. I read that somewhere. Not sure if it’s true, but since no one has at any point offered me a home-cooked treat since I came, it might be. Works for me, though, because I’m not really the “bring cookies to the neighbors” type.
IV. Traveling Into Grenada
18. Island Airlines, yes even good ol American A, will almost definitely lose at least one of your checked bags (more than one if you check extra bags, i.e. more than two). So pack a couple changes of clothes and ANYTHING valuable you’re bringing with you in your carry-on luggage.
19. Also, another FUN FACT I wish someone had shared with me? Most Caribbean airlines (i.e. Liat) have a weight limit of 15 lbs on your carry-on luggage. Yep, you heard me. A lot of people on my flight had to gate check their laptops, purses etc. because they were too heavy. Luckily for me, my laptop case was just under weight and my roll-on carry bag didn’t have anything really valuable in it. (Cause I’m pretty sure that got its fair share of searching.)
20. For SGU significant others: Even if the school says you don’t “really” need it (and no offense to the school, but half the time when you ask someone in “information,” they give you a totally wrong answer, or at least one 100% different from the last person you asked) BRING YOUR PROOF OF DEPARTURE. (i.e. proof that you as a non-student are not planning on staying in Grenada forever.) Even if you have to make one up. (Legal disclaimer: I am NOT suggesting you defraud the government of Grenada or any other Caribbean island, or the US. etc. etc.) You might not get asked, but as I always say, “it’s better to HAVE it and not need it, than NEED it and not have it.”
***Additional note: Please see Buffy's post on (ahem) prohibited items of the "marital" variety.
V. On-Island Transportation
There are three major ways to get around in St. Georges:
21. Walking. Just like any other place in the world, they have sidewalks here. If you’re a girl and you’re alone, don’t walk places by yourself. It’s not a big deal, and I haven’t heard of any problems. But it’s common sense. Depending on where you live, there will most-likely be a few little restaurants, shopping places or gas stations around. We even have a movie theater that shows new-ish movies. I haven’t been, because I have Netflix (and zero desire to see the latest Ice Age: Should’ve Been Extinct by Now movie). But I’ve heard it’s nice enough.
22. SGU buses. One thing that’s AMAZINGLY nice about SGU as a school is that they offer these totally convenient, free shuttles that go all over town. There’s one that goes to the beach, one that goes to Spiceland Mall, one that goes to pretty much every student housing area–check on this before you sign a contract, though–one goes to the airport, and all of them go to the school. Technically, you have to have a student ID to ride, (you can get a special SO pass through security if your spouse/partner is a student) but I’ve never been asked. My landlord said it’s probably because I’m pale, and they just naturally assume I’m a student. Works for me.
23. Taxis / Local “buses” which are basically also taxis. If you’re walking down the street and someone honks at you, there’s a 90% chance it’s a taxi/local bus letting you know that they’re coming and you need to wave your hand and they’ll stop.
Sometimes, they’ll stop even if you don’t wave your hand. Most of the time, there will also be some dude hanging halfway out the van door (yes, the buses are vans, as creepy as it sounds) and yelling “bus!” or “taxi!” As they get closer, they might even try to convince you to get on the bus. It’s not free, but I’ve heard it costs less than a traditional taxi van. Though I’ll probably never know, because I’m not brave enough to climb into one of those things by myself. Plus, the SGU buses will take me pretty much anywhere I need to go.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I’ve learned about Grenada so far. Stay tuned for updates on the ongoing ant infestation and my upcoming foray into the super secret (and I’m convinced, real) underground fight club of lonely American SGU Housewives. (Note: If it’s not real, I’ll be starting one soon.)
You're welcome.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)